Hello hello,
The continuation of discussions about end of life. As you know, I became an end-of-life doula and I’m going with somebody for the first time to Switzerland to end their life at Dignitas. A place where you can do it legally and safely and at the right time.
I was thinking about timing. So, we got the documents from Dignitas, and there’s meeting one meeting with a physician and meeting two with a psychologist, and then there’s the meeting for the medication.
It’s at 10 a.m. on a particular date.
When I think of the people who I helped toward the end of their lives or the people from my family that I got to see—nobody had a date and an hour that was this precise. Think about it. When is it that we have a date so precisely?
You might be summoned to a court date. Or maybe there’s a discussion with your boss and you think that maybe they’ll ask you to leave. There are a few things that we have dates in advance, that are very, very precise. But even the dates that are very precise, maybe the meeting with your boss you think will not go well but you’re not 100% sure. You have a court trial, you’re not really sure how it will turn out.
This one is so precise. And I think it’s a unique perspective.
I have to say that this question has probably crossed all our minds. Would you like to know when you’re going to die? I think I would like to have like a general sense. Is it five years or ten years or twenty years from now? Would I like to know the exact date well in advance? I don’t think so. If I knew in ten years on April 13th that I’ll die? I don’t think I would want that. But in the short term, the person I’m escorting, he’s finding that date incredibly positive.
He knows there’ll be a date when he stops suffering. He has a list of things he wants to accomplish between now and then. He’s meeting with lots of people. He said he’s not explaining his choice to anybody. We can talk about other things, but he’s not interested in explaining his choice over and over.
Maybe for me—and I wonder what it is for you—I would like to have a general sense and only when I get very close, I think I would like to have a specific sense, like the exact time to prepare, to settle things.
You know, when I thought about getting that letter, I thought it would be frightening for him. I thought the date would be, even though he wanted it, I thought that every day that would pass would be that hour and that date would be difficult, but no, it’s just positive.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be in his shoes and able to make such decisions. I’m very curious. The good thing about all of this is that he is positive. Very positive. And much more positive than I was expecting with that.
Some things to think about.
