Hello, hello.
It’s Thursday night. Tomorrow is Friday. Tomorrow is the day of the medication.
We’ve had a few very intense days for both of us. We spent many hours every day talking about lots of topics, got very close, and shared lots of things. In addition to sharing, I was also trying to figure out what is my role in this. How do I stay helpful? I don’t even know how to summarize all the all the things that happened.
Maybe I would say a couple of things that had the most impact on me. One, is the peacefulness of knowing the end that comes with it. It is surprising from an outside perspective to see that calmness about tomorrow—100% conviction, no question, and calmness. The second thing is the ability to enjoy things. Going for coffee, for ice cream, looking at the scenery. We talked all through the day and went for a few walks every day. We had coffee and drinks and ice cream and some food. The ability to appreciate the weather and the fountains and the streets, the taste of the coffee and the ice cream and being inquisitive. The conviction I thought would waver to some degree—I didn’t think it would go to no, but I thought the ability to extract a lot of joy from these days for both of us. And it’s a duality. It’s not joy and no sadness. It’s both things side by side. The third thing which we had lots of discussions about today, was about the fact that he feels that he has done his job in many areas of his life. He feels he’s been successful professionally as a very, very successful therapist has helped lots of people. He showed me some comments from patients. As a significant other—it’s amazing to listen to the love that they were able to develop. And as a father with three amazing kids with amazing relationships. You would say that somebody who has checked the boxes who is happy professionally and happy romantically and feel that they’ve done their job—you would wonder wouldn’t they want to just push on for another few days? Few weeks? Few months?
The answer was that’s one of the things that gave him the power to let go. What he said was that he does not have any unresolved issues. He figures that he’s done his best in each of those. He’s achieved what he wanted to achieve, and now it’s easier to let go. He said, is it sadder to give on a successful, happy life than to give on an unsuccessful, unhappy life? Yes, it is sadder. But does it help with the acceptance? Absolutely. And his level of acceptance is very high.
We just got back to the hotel. I did not sleep much the last two days. I don’t know what will happen tonight. We will see. But what a privilege. I feel that I got to meet someone for multiple days in a very intense environment, learn a lot about them, for them, for him to learn a lot about me. Shared lots of thoughts and ideas and gave me lessons for life, and some criticism, and suggestions.
It will be a lot of material that I will keep on digesting and thinking about.
That’s it for now.
