Today we went for a morning walk, sat somewhere and had coffee, then we sat somewhere else and had some ice cream—just doing so many things that are regular day-to-day things, while talking about very different topics. And in the background there’s this question about the end of life. But we talked about procrastination, and we talked about procrastination in the context of end of life. And the thought was that at some point we will face end of life. And the question is, when is delaying it worthwhile, and when is continuing worthwhile? And the way we thought about it was to consider the question of whether the moment is worth it. And then to consider the question of whether there is pressure to keep delaying things because we don’t want to make a decision. Or we’re afraid to make a decision or it’s socially uncomfortable to make a decision, etc. He said that for him, the moment was not worthwhile for a while, but there were lots of social pressures to continue.
He said if he only listened to the social pressures, it could go on for a very, very long time. It’s not clear when the social pressure would end. The only thing that is clear is that it’s not good right now. He said if things kept being just like this would I want them to continue, he said no. So why delay? Why not end things? The same thing went for saying goodbye. He said he could continue corresponding with his family members, he could continue telling them he loves them. But they had a very good ending and meeting and summary why procrastinate more? Why delay things more?
I think, in general, procrastination is a huge problem for human nature. It’s a cause for lots of the things we don’t do well. But maybe the end of life is one of the cases where procrastination is the worst for us—much worse than procrastinating on paperwork and filing our taxes and so on—that we don’t want to get to that moment. And because we don’t want to get to that moment, we’re doing lots of things that are not good for anybody.
He said that if he asked his family if today is the right day, they would have said no. And then tomorrow, they again would have said no. There’s a story of when is it worthwhile to stop smoking. And the answer is that if you think long term, you say smoking is terrible. But if you think about it one day at a time, it will never be a good day to quit smoking. Why? Because if you’re a smoker and you love smoking, every day you smoke is a good day. And every day you smoke is not going to kill you—not that day alone. So, if you wake up every day and ask if today is a good day to stop smoking? Every day you would say, not today, not today, not today. But if you say, do I want to keep on being a smoker? You would say, no, I don’t.
And I think the same thing is true here. If we think short term, every day we would say, not today, not today, not today. But if you say, do I want to live like this, in general? The answer is no. And if the answer is no, then you know what you should do sooner.
So very courageous. Picking a date. Sticking to it. Saying goodbye in the right way. Procrastination and end of life.
